DIAMONDS AND RUST

Well...
Is a grey rainy day and I am pondering things...and I am looking for a clearance...and also a closure somehow.
You know, I am in a path in which I am finding out my connections with the Universe.
Has been a year or so that I am digging within myself, growing, seeding and I start now to really see fruits of what I have seeded, and they are far away of what I have expected.
This is the point.
We always expect something, we concentrate in those expectations that we can't see the path changing; and we are disappointed because things didn't went like your expectations were, and take some time and lot of energy, to understand that the path meant for you was there, has been there all the time, or you think so...you hope this time you are in the right one, because only the idea to find yourself in the same wrong path scared you more than hell itself, and of course...unsureness is walking just beside you.

There was a particular situation which took me away a bit, and took more to understand that I was completely wrong, paths and patterns, emotions I wanted to feel so much that I  believed my own illusions until the facts, the reality, struck me right on my face, and I fell apart, but maybe also this was meant to go like this. I am a poet and a writer, often pain is the the nourishment of what I write.
I am a dreamer, always have been and always will be and this is what often put me in troubles; but there is always a lesson, you think the Universe bring to you that lesson, and say loud "oh yes that was is that was the Universe" well maybe, but mainly you bring pain and disappointments to yourself. The Universe just show it to you.  I have learned it and learning it, not in an easy way...but this is how it works, is it?
And here comes the lesson, those  for me were just diamonds and rust and the reason because today I feel this song in a way that I have never felt before, is just this, and he...he was the ghost...
In this new path there is no ghost, you are not a ghost...you have never been, you have always watching in silent, knowing maybe that at one point I will understand, well if it is so; you have to have had in me a big faith, more than what I had in myself... but it is again another IF, so I am not going there now, not again.
So I say to you,  " I love you dearly, but if you'll offering me diamonds and rust, I don't want them anymore. I have already paid";   like the song said, and that was what I have to understand.

So Today I have found myself in this. Some time ago I would have called it coincidence, but not today.
We continue to call them coincidences, when something happen or you noticed in a particular moment, for example when you are going through something which is changing you deeply, better hopefully, and that particular song appear somehow in a channel that you are following;  you then decide to listen it again, go to pay attention at the words because the song this time makes you cry and shivered. You have listen it before without having this side effects. You read then carefully and realize you are just on that situation described by the lyrics...although the moon is going dark, and it is just when she is dark that show you her powers...
Well...the reality is that those are signs of how powerful  and strong we can be, although everything seems falling apart,  if only we pay more attention at what surrounded us, maybe we won't have to bare so much pain all the time, but ...the most important lessons comes from the pain and the disillusion.


I'll be damned, here comes your ghost again
But that's not unusual
It's just that the moon is full
And you decided to call
And here I sit, hand on the telephone
Hearing the voice I'd known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall
But we both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust
Yes we both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust
Now I see you standing all around and snow in your hair
Now we're smiling out the window of the crummy hotel over Washington Square
Our breath comes on white clouds, mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me, we both could've died then and there
Now you're telling me you're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You were so good with words
And at keeping things vague
'Cause I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes, I love you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust, I've already paid
But we both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust
Yes we both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust
Diamonds, diamonds and rust
Diamonds, diamonds and rust
Diamonds, diamonds and rust
Don't want no more diamonds, diamonds and rust

Songwriters: BAEZ JOAN C