SOME DAYS

Some days aren't easy

others are hard

and some don't come at all

and these are those that feel like forever

Some days I feel like a Phoenix

others I am carved in ice

and everything feels like frozen

beside my own thoughts.

Some days I am longing for silence

others I pray to let go

in the end, all I want is peace

Peace in my mind

Peace in my heavy heart 

that became heavier while the years went by

In the end

I just miss the lightness I used to have

when everything was hoping for the best to come

Now...

the tiredness is beating my being down

and I feel like I've lost all my bullets,

I've lost the core of my existence.

© Diana Mistera 2024

...

I turn my eyes and count to seven

angels cry at every corner

while love is beaten from the pain and fear

love letters travelling into thousands bites

losing their power when reached the screen.

Words don't find the lonely hearts

that are alive only in a artificial dreams

made of pulses and wires.

© Diana Mistera somewhere around the Universe

DARK

It feels that everything, just turn in the other way

Hopes left the place to what I feared most

my heart once fulfilled with love

now bitterly turned to stone.

Signs and synchronicity I cursed

there was a time I  had believed in them

and to heartache is where they had led.

My laughter turned into a grin

my dreams slowly died.

Lights faded away

the darkest hour of the soul was roaring

facing my darkest day.

Ice cold truth, pierced my heart and eyes

the veil fell down

and every joyful memory

became a pain inside.

I looked at you, from within the mirror

and

what the mirror was reflecting 

was a stranger I wished I had never known

or loved.

© Diana Mistera 11.10.2022

IMAGINE ME, IMAGINE YOU

A love that is lost 

leave the place from another to be found

There are tears

There are fears

There is longing

There is the memory

There is struggle and again fear.

Do you want to stay in this prison forever

locked in this fortress you've build around yourself,

imprisoned?

Self destruction I must say, this too is a choice.

Life is just but a dream within a dream 

 running in fast forward mode, 

out of our hands in a blink of an eye.

Now, stop and...

imagine me, imagine you

fractions of the eternity.

Imagine you, imagine me

leaves carried around by the wind.

Imagine me, imagine us

butterflies flying from flower to flower

Imagine us...

Landing in the most beautiful one, to die.

 © Diana Mistera  25.06.2022

TELL ME...

I'm staring in the void

I can't see clear but I feel

I feel you

I don't know why am I crying

I hold on you, at what I believe of us

but I can't hear your voice anymore, 

I hear nothing from you, to break this heavy silence

and most of the nights I wake up crying

wondering why, what has happened to us?

I know it wasn't just me the one who felt the pull

For the last two years, you've drifted away from me

blocked somewhere where I cannot reach you the way I used to.

I'm so confused, disenchanted.

Have you left the path? 

What's the reason?

Tell me why should I still believe.

© Diana Mistera 10.06.2022

THE SAVAGE GARDEN

 I was sitting in a garden. It was a peaceful place from where I could see the old Santa Maria dei Servi Church, listening to music, I had found that place just for a chance, and I didn't even know if I was allowed to sit there. It wasn't a private space, no signs were there, it was a garden, quite a savage one, but still felt like home.

One day I was all in my thoughts, maybe I was in a way, praying, asking to whoever was listening, why I couldn't find the love that my soul was so desperately looking for. That kind of deep, true, to live  and die for. The kind that I know existed; I had it somewhere along the line of the time, in every of my lives. The soul never forget, she just get blurred along the way.

18 years later I  still remember that silent prayer, wondering who was listening; and...

Just like this, when I met you the first time

I felt that love

I didn't know what to do with it

I felt scared, in disbelief,

but at the same time blessed, 

overwhelmed

wishing, 

to hear your heartbeat

Feel you.

Come closer to you

Fall asleep peacefully and safe in your arms

remebering...

Hold you, day and night

Knowing...

wake up and see you at my side

We have it all.

I really want you and I wonder

Was the heaven that sent you to me

or  did you escape from Hell?

Angels had fallen for love, once

and I don't really care now from where 

and whom

as long as you will be mine

I only care about the when...

© Diana Mistera 02.06.21

THE HOLLOW

 I've should have known better 

how to stop tearing myself apart 

I've done already so many times

and still haven't learned my lesson.

I fell again, in the same old trap

it had a different outfit but the core was the same.

Everyone is the perfect architect of their own illusions

and I was so good in building it so real 

that I end up to believed to be true.

Now, I feel like a shadow doomed, 

my love, forever in the dark

until I will not feel it anymore 

because, you know,

you get used to the void

it eventually becomes a part of who you are.

©Diana Mistera 2021

FALLING

I feel my wings burn feather after feather, 

bleeding.

I was the light once and now the darkness surrounds me.

I must be one of those that fell.

Did they wonder if and when they will touch the ground?

Did they hope to be caught by lovable arms?

Have they been in my same storm? 

Did they see their memories fading, whirling?

Did they feel the pain of falling from grace?

Promises and dreams shattered

hopes so long gone?

The endless haze surrounds me 

so I close my eyes

while tears keep ascending, 

silver strings heading the skies 

and I keep surrendering, changing

and yet falling.

I long for you, for your embrace,  

I long for your touch,

but I know I need to fall alone in this void.

© Diana Mistera 26.4.2021

3 CYCLES OF 3s

My dreams 3 cycles of 3 

within 3 months

3 dreams, cycles of 3

within 3 weeks

3 dreams cycles of 3

in a day

we are moving faster

and 8 is the number of times of 3s together.

My soul is longing for yours

I am a Cosmic Rider in the Universe

memories gathering

past present and future

I keep on trying, digging, 

resting, dying in flames

The cycles of life of a Phoenix

whose had risen from her ashes so many times

and keep on burning to death to born again

you are the fire that I will never tame.

Around the Universe and back

two souls are one.

I know you are holding back

so I will take it easy

we'll have a chance I know

I have loved you lifetimes

Keep on falling in love with you again and again.

You are the one and only

I can't let go, it feels so lonely

please tell me you will be there day and night

I do, you know I will

Why? Was your question,

because I love you, is and will be always

my answer.

© Diana Mistera 2021

STAY

Morning was slow and grey

Feelings from yesterday find their way always

rooting in the ground

            Seeds

A simple thought, just a little thing

grounding, manifesting.

I need you here,

I want you near 

Two shadows never apart from each other 

            feeling you coming closer

baby steps

always forward

Today more than yesterday

You are coming closer.

I am leaving the space, 

receiving,

welcoming.

        Today more than yesterday I want you here to stay, my beloved

Flowing

                loving you

forever

I have been, 

be and will be

            yours.

©Diana Mistera 21.03.21

ONE LAST TIME

It's hard to believe that our hearts end up to be broken

by the only feeling that shouldn't do it: Love. 

The constant dying lies, spoil  the beauty of all 

the soul in an endless cry, beg you to not go there

the soul know what is right and wrong

but...we hear her, only when it is too late

sometimes we don't or don't want, to hear her at all.

What we feel and see are the red of our wounds

whose never stop bleeding.

So we die in burning pain,

and how bright those flames are!

Do we want to burn again to ashes? 

I don't. 

Because reborn from them, start to be

every time harder for me.

Why? Why you won't try

for one last time

to put your walls down?

Everything will be all right with me.

Let me just come closer

let's fall in each other arms

crying out loud how much we missed each others.

I want you to believe me, why don't you want to believe me?

Don't let us grow any colder, further away

Life is too short.

Let me come close to your heart

before everything is lost again in an endless sorrow.

© Diana Mistera September 2020

picture taken from

NEWS AND STUFF, NEW POETRY BOOOK PRESENTATION

 So...what has been going on behind the scenes?

Well quite much I must say. 

I am shifting into a new cycle, that is the main reason of my silence, like you have noticed for sure if you have red the last poems. 

When changes occurred, is necessary to withdraw within yourself, this I did.

I have changed my job so also my schedule has changed and it takes time to adjust to the new rhythm, but today is Mabon, and when Mabon starts; I start to work again in what make me feel happy, so writing, learning more and more about tarots, poetry, reading. 

I have noticed that I become more active when Summer turn into Fall, Fall into Winter, and Winter into Spring.

So in July I did a thing...yes...I have published my second poetry book. It is in English of course, and in a way it summon the changes I have had in the last years. 

What I love of my book it is that come from the soul, and it is the journey where I have been in since 2011, a soul journey of looking for, finding and acknowledging, unconditional love. 

Yes, here we go again, I have told you, I am in a spiritual journey, so that is of course the theme of my writings, in my goth...ish style but this is it.

The book is indeed divided in 3 blocks, with beautiful art at the beginning of each block, and about 80 poems total.

Block 1: LONGING

Block 2: STRUGGLE

Block 3: AWARENESS 

Why this? 

Well, have you ever listen of what your soul  wants to say to you? I do all the time, I couldn't write poems if I didn't, so when you listen at your soul, you start to hear also your heart and you understand that although everything is ok, you still feel the longing, you feel that something is missing. 

You know that you are bonded to someone, because everything turns to you like this, you find stories about the red string which bond you to your other half, you see signs, dreams of some old memory of another life, that take you always there to him, mostly when you don't looking for them, causing always those ahaa moments, so you start to dig in this because maybe you want to write a story about that, and you start to see some peculiarities, a pattern, that you didn't see before, and you realize you didn't feel the longing if you have already what your soul desire. So...is it only a researching for my upcoming novel or...?

Well absolutely the OR...

What then? Well, you STRUGGLE, because your world go upside down, because you thought you have it already and when you realize you haven't, comes the struggle in finding what your soul long for, what she truly desires, quoting a well known Lucifer Morningstar, and there you find yourself in a journey that you have neither think about it...and I mean ever; where all your fears come to surface, because your soul know who is the other half, he has always been there when you were doing everything else, when you were confuse, you notice he was the only thing that was always present, stable,  that made you feel good always, but you didn't think about him in that way, so comes doubts, comes insecurities comes the question am I going insane? Am I imagining everything because I am in the middle age crisis although I don't want to acknowledge it? And your soul whisper “No you are not...this is happening now because it has to happen now...” so you dig deeper, you find mediums, channellers, maybe that person that you started to notice advise you a book of Ram Dass “BE HERE NOW” and you feel the pull to go to check it and you buy it, and in reading it you find out that you have been in this strange journey already a while, and you understand that everything is unfolding, and you become AWARE, but here, with the Awareness everything begins. Did you really think that was the end of the journey? 

Well you know now, it was only the beginning and things will go deeper, some more difficult, challenging, frustrating some time, well often I must say, but is all part of the journey to the alignment.

So this book is my baby steps in this journey, and I am still travelling...so more poems will appear, and someday I will be able to walk the way I should...

The poetry book is BEFORE THE DAWN...AFTER DUSK. You can find it in every internet store, paperback and ebook, and on demand you can order from your favourite bookshop worldwide.

Following I leave you the direct link to Amazon  and to SUOMALAINEN KIRJAKAUPPA

Blessed be.

I'M MOVING

 I've been having strange moments

I've been visiting places where I should not go 

step blindly into the unknown.

I've been seeing synchronicity, coincidences, numbers 

catching conversations that enclosed your name

My ears and my eyes never close, 

but the heart doesn't trust

allowing the fear to command.

I've been visiting places where you used to be, 

where you are and we will be 

past, present and future in my dreams, 

wondering,

if you sense what is going on with me.

Rest assure my dear, 

I don't vanish that easy

I will gain your trust

I am just moving, shifting.

Is that voice in your head sound familiar to you?

Are the footsteps walking beside you comforting?

I am walking along, a discreet presence that is never far

You are a constant thought in my mind,

my soul deepest desire and longing

I can't never let go even if I wanted to.

Devoured by fears and obsessions that cannot be denied 

my reason deserts me, showing me no mercy.

I am moving in the stillness.

© Diana Mistera 2020

UNDER THE WATERS

I don't see the bottom in this sea

and the storm is near

I feel its sharp touch on my soul.

I don't see if under me

there are pikes

or sharks, which could swallow me in one bite.

You can see

even in the depth of the surface, I know, 

you carry the same depth within you,

but you only see sharks, 

yet

encourage me to dare

because you don't trust your senses.

You have never dived so dangerously, have you?

Neither do I.

And the depth of these waters

can find our Achilles heel

and like a spear strikes us mercilessly, without warning.

You do this to me ...

take me adrift

further and further away from the safe beach

and I'm dizzy and I'm scared

but I hear your voice calling me and I can no longer ignore it

even if I don't understand if it's a desperate cry

to ward off sharks ... or me.

You made me discover that I have a secret power

I don't want to hide anymore

I don't want to freeze, I don't want to run away

I don't want to lose you, I will fight to have you

to reach you, I will not give you up.

Do you hear it, when I cry out your name underwater?

Am I drowning or rising to the surface again?

© Diana Mistera 2020

BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS

Boulevard of Broken Dreams
is the street you think to walk alone
until you notice to be surrounded by clones
disguised as dim shadows, shapeless.
Is there the line, to catch the last ticket
to the next stop: Self Pity.
Didn't you know is free
for those who deserve the visit?
Don't stumble on those broken bricks
the one behind, is ready to run over you.
You feel heavier
every step you take, slower
while all your chances pass you by
heavier, slower,
every mistake you made, now you carry
heavier, slower, frozen
your soul is cracking
on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

© Diana Mistera 2020

CYPHER

I am searching answers in the clouds
many of them seemed to shape your face.
You lead me to a point
where everything is shifting and myself with it
everything is redesigned,
rewritten in ciphers that I am unable to decrypt.

In your eyes I see the mysteries of the Universe
they brought light to my life
and I love to get lost in them
although I never understand them.
Encryption decrypted
Ready to fly away, you spread my mind to play.

I see the secrets between the lines
pick them as they are rare flowers
that are growing only in the Savage Garden.

You’re doing wondrous things to my soul.
Do them one more time,
Do to me what you want
I cannot get enough and
I'm thirsty for more until...
the cracking of the reality
ground me back in the uncertainties
back to that cipher that I cannot decrypt.

© Diana Mistera 23.3 2020

MIRROR MIRROR

I am holding this dream in my hands
but it feels like it is running through my fingers like sand
I keep all you gave me
on my mind to carry on.
I walk through empty streets
so I can hide my tears in the rain
and my soul in the dark
I'm counting again the scars on my heart
tending those that are still wide open
I am looking to gain back my light
I must hide myself until then
because I don't want my dark to devour you
although we are in this path together
mirroring each others, so it said.
And, I now am wondering, who is actually in the dark
and hiding.
Look now, who is near to you
in front of that wall
unable to take a leap of faith
and you find me there with you

© Diana Mistera 4.11.2019

WALLS

In this cold empty space
the walls are coming closer
I am building them again with all my fears
brick after brick
and I want to run, run away
and leave them behind
but wherever I turn I see other walls
and I don't have anymore the power to tear them down

How I end up here again?

I traveled through thousands lives
keeping searching, knowing I find you
each time on my path
loosing the gap on dreams and words along the way

Now on my knees
in front of this wall
I feel the heaviness of every choice we've made
and I just want you to hold me
assuring me you are behind it
to not give in
but,
the sadness is killing me using my fears as weapon .

© Diana Mistera 4.11.2019

DAMOCLE 'S SWORD

Thousands of thoughts poison your heart
feeding your fears
and you  feel
the sword of Damocle hanging on you.
Every time it is coming closer
you wonder when it will hit
you feel already the cold blade slowly sever
there is no way out, nor back neither forward
everything is still, suspended.
You close your heart and soul
freezing everything that try to pass through
is the survival instinct
but don't you see that you are freezing yourself too?
Would you see the light again?

Would you feel the warmth again?
Don't let your heart die lonely and alone.
We are made from the same matter of  the stars
let your flames shine bright
just feel the bliss of the universe .
Stand up now brave knight
cut the chains which keep you imprisoned,
you no longer need them
you have been through this before
let the sword be the tool for your victory
not the cause of your defeat.

© Diana Mistera 22.10.2019

GAMER

The sun is shining warmly
everybody is laughing
on the shore of the lake
I see my pattern and smile as well,
just one direction in my thoughts.
I was the runner and now I am on the run
Feeling I am going nowhere
but still running.
Love could be magic
and sometimes start as a pinball game.
You are the plunger
and like a crazy ball I strike on the playfield
hitting every corner and bumper.
Skilled players know how to manipulate the game
in order to direct the ball towards a certain path.
Now,
I hope you know how to keep the game going
because I don't want to end as a game over.
Patience is not one of my virtues
and you are in my mind
no matter where I go or stay
So,
I dream my time away
we are together
wishful thinking I guess
but now I feel the warm on me.
Strike, hit and tilt
you won this game long ago.
Did you know?

© Diana Mistera  July 27 2019